Confession number 0000024

Now I know life happens, that’s fine, but if you are going to be late picking up your child, please have the common courtesy and call. Some of you may think “oh I’m gonna be late, no biggie”…yes it is a biggie, you forget that we work all day and have families to go home to, and as much as we love your children, we love our families too, and believe it or not, our kids have been in daycare all day too, we would like to pick up our children. Always remember, no child likes being the last one. You don’t see the hurt on their faces or hear what they say when they realize they are the last one, that is heartbreaking.

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Confession number 00000023

Child care providers love children, that’s why we do the job, there are many people that can’t do what we do. Please don’t insult us, we know its not a high paying glamorous job but we do it because we love it and we love kids, don’t call us ‘babysitters’ or use us as a way to punish to your kids. And please remember that when your child gets hurt and we have to tell you about it, we don’t want a bunch of attitude, our heart breaks when kids get hurt, please don’t make it worse by telling us that we weren’t watching your child or we were neglecting them.

Confession number 00000022

When you come to pick up your child, I make sure that your child is dry. Don’t drop your child off to me wet because once you’ve done it that one time, I will check your childs diaper while you are standing there and if your child is wet I will tell you to change them, and I don’t care if you’re in a hurry to go see President Obama, you WILL change that diaper. #believethat

Confession number 00000021

Please don’t come into my room in your pajamas at 930 am and tell me your child hasn’t eaten breakfast and then ask me if they can still eat. Snack is over at 930, that means that the dishes are loaded onto the cart and sent to the kitchen. You clearly aren’t doing anything because you’re in PAJAMAS. Tell me why you couldn’t feed your child breakfast….i’ll wait…. 

Confession number 00000020

Look here, if you fill out paperwork that says that your child can’t have a certain food item, don’t look at me sideways when you come to pick up at snack time and your child is eating a substitute. I understand you may feed your child that food at home because they outgrew the allergy, but until I get some paperwork telling me that it is indeed ok to feed your child that forbidden food, I’m not giving it to them. I refuse to let your child turn into a puffer fish and make me have to bust out the epi-pen and call 911 and I also refuse to have you chew my head off for giving your child the food. I’m not risking my job for you, so please step off and let me do me.  

Confession number 0000019

People I need you to understand that at daycare there are biters, pinchers, spitters, cussers and Lord knows what else. If your kid bumps their head or gets bitten by another child don’t give us a shit ton of attitude and question us 1000 times. Its extremely hard to keep up with biters, they are sneaky and when a child gets bitten, its when a teacher is playing with a group of kids or changing diapers or tending to another child for whatever reason. Don’t sit there and tell me that I’m not doing my job, then go complain. I’m gonna let you in on a secret, when you go and complain to my boss about your kid getting bitten, I honestly don’t give a damn. I’m not gonna lose my job because your kid got bit. Just so you know, your child is not the first, last and only child to get bitten, so get your panties out of a wad and get your mind right.

Confession number 00000018

Ok, I know I look like a friendly face, but to be honest, when I’m at work, I don’t have time to stand around and hear your stories and problems. When you walk in and hold a 20 minute conversation, I want you to know that after 120 seconds (2 minutes for you slow folks) you have completely lost me and I’m no longer hearing you. You need to get out of your house and make some damn friends. I’m not your friend, and from the story you’re telling I really don’t want to be you’re friend. And when I walk away when you pause for 5 seconds, that doesn’t mean stand there and continue to talk. it means get the hell out of my face because I have work to do and you’re slowing me down. You are the weakest link…GOODBYE!